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Hey, honey. I hope you’re having a nice day? It’s sunny and beautiful here. I’m about to run to Lowe’s but wanted to say hello and update. The pup is like you – he’s got 9 lives, I guess? Lol. He’s still weak but after a day of fasting, is back to baseline. I went to the vet to get him some Science Diet (for older dogs) and he’s really likes it and it has stimulated his appetite. He rested well last night and seems more calm over all. Obviously, this doesn’t change our reality but provides a short extension perhaps? As I’ve said many times, we’ll just take it one day at the time. As YOU often say and I love…”we’ll focus on today, tomorrow will take care of itself!” Did you know that I love you more than anyone on earth and I LOVE your words of wisdom, too!

Regarding Amy’s song. I remember so well (many times) over the years gazing at you when I was making dinner….or planning dinner or arranging flowers (or anything really). I enjoyed looking at you – I still do. As I’ve shared in the past, I love your beard…it’s so handsome on you. I would gaze and you and think of us alone…us holding and loving each other. Such a precious thought.

One evening in the fall of ’14, she was away and we were at/in the big house alone with #3. Of course, when she went up to her room, she may as well have been on another planet because the house is so huge. Anyway, I’d made dinner and went up to bed. Thinking of you, of course. That night, I decided to take a bath rather than a shower. I ran some hot water and added some bubbles. It was very relaxing. While not always…since I was in full “Jill” mode, I wanted to shave my legs. I did. After I’d dried off, I applied a bit of fake tan lotion and prepared for bed. I’ll never forget that night. I was lying there under the same roof thinking of you. I was fantasizing about sneaking downstairs…and into your room. You were in that big bed alone. I wanted to climb into that bed and be with you so much! I wanted to feel your hairy legs rub against my smooth ones…put my face on your chest and just be close to you. What a wonderful thought. I will say – those thoughts lead me to being a bit naughty…I had to get up and shower again. Lol!

Enjoy this day and keep me close. I love you, honey….I love you so much. xo

Hey, baby – hope you’re having a great day. Busy here as usual but wanted to say hi. I’m about to run a few errands and will try to get back home as quickly as possible. The pup has a rough night last night. Once again, I thought I was going to lose him? Though we know it’s imminent, it’s so stressful and heartbreaking. He refused his food (am) yesterday but ate a small amount in the late afternoon. That didn’t go well…he was compelled to drink lots and lots of water then ultimately threw up. I’m sure his liver is going into failure? My plan for years is to keep him with me until he begins to show signs of pain – at that point, I’ll send him on his way. As an RN, I’ve secured the meds and will do it myself. That’s what I did with my other schnauzer back in 2011. He was just shy of 15. Carson is almost exactly the same age now. It’s a simple process and I need privacy (for both of us) at that time. If you can feel my heart from a distance, expect deep sadness that day. Keep us in your thoughts and send us some love…it’s going to be tough.

Not sure where you are…thinking you may be attending the big game in person? If so, have fun and please stay safe. This old world grows ever darker by the hour. The most recent things being posted on X, TT, FB etc regarding the “Epstein” crowd (we know who they are) is even more sick that I could have ever imagined. What an awful group of evil people that rule over this world.

Where ever you are, know that I’m right there in your heart. I love you so….xo

I wonder if he’ll ever live? I wonder if we’ll ever hold him?

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1H1rgsTfF3/?mibextid=wwXI

Hey, honey…

I made it back safely and am happy that portion is now done. Still lots to do but we’ll take it one day at the time. I’ve been watching you lately and am overcome with the vibe that we’ll never be together?! I just can’t shake it. Of course, if we’re never together, then the boys will never be born.

You’ve not made a C video in a long time and any comments (very few of late) “could” be from an actual fan and not even you?! Your cryptic communication on FB, X etc seems even harder to read?

Let me know if you’re leaning towards staying put and leaving the dream I’ve shared behind? While my heart will be broken, I’d rather know now than continue onward. The truth won’t stop me from loving you.

I hope you’re enjoying this day. I love you! xo