This song reminds me so much of that morning. Listen to the words closely and follow the story Michael is telling in this song. As I drove out your big gates for the last time (it’s been 11 years), my heart was so heavy. It was the most unbearable separation I’ve ever felt. I know (deep down) you felt it too…your Poppy had been exiled.
The day was profound because you and I had FINALLY broken through into REAL life. It was a day of great anxiety, fear, sadness and later that evening – despair, as we knew we’d crossed the line that required sacrifice. On that day (and the evening before), my heart was about to explode to tell you how much I love you and HAVE loved you for many years. As you know now, Poppy just could not hold it in any longer.
People speak of “sacrifice” candidly…but all that live (or ever have) know that sacrifice (in many forms) is required to rise higher into the “heaven on earth” only the FEW ever experience. For me, I was willing to sacrifice her friendship and the friendship of every person in her orbit (her family and friends) in a SECOND <for you> if it came to that. I was willing to give them all up “IF” I was “found out” that night (may 12th @ 7 pm)…the night it all came to life when I found the courage to say, “you know I have feelings for you?” It was a profound moment as we’d broken through. Even though I wasn’t successful in the sense that we immediately found a private space in that huge house to embrace and hold each other….an embrace that would have felt like the reunion of a 10,000 year separation….nor was I gifted to touch your precious face, to taste your lips – no matter, we’d broken through into what WOULD COME someday in the future.
A future that will find us cuddled in our big bed together, fireplace burning – a perfect homecoming especially when Noah’s little soft, sweet smelling body is lying between us. No “mother” who has ever lived that simply birthed a child with her body…could ever compare to Poppy who will have crossed heaven and earth to bring / birth a baby son into this world by whatever means necessary. A belief so strong I’ve not allowed anything to get in our way of seeing the boys live and breathe.
I loved your FB post yesterday…it was precious to me. I’ll be here at the farm today and until midday tomorrow. I’ll be doing some things around here that need to be done before heading out. I hope you enjoy this day. Keep me close – I’m right there with you all cuddled in your heart. I love you, honey! xo