Hey. I hope you’re doing well. I am so overworked and exhausted…I developed a migraine during the early morning hours yesterday. It was a bad one…so bad, in fact, I had to go get a shot – which knocked me out. Perhaps I needed forced rest? Who knows?
Along with the physical/mental exhaustion, I’ve been feeling down lately (if being honest). Seems so strange that I cannot communicate with you like two normal human beings do?! Every bit of communication (seemingly) must be hidden in plain site. Nothing direct – ever. I saw your comment on Sara’s post (and other ladies) and while I understand that you (possibly) use these post comments (from time to time) to communicate with me (or that’s what I’ve been lead to believe)…I still worry.
As I’ve told you MANY times – I want you to be safe, healthy and happy. I just hope that I’m truly the person to bring you that happiness? You obviously have a “type” when it comes to women which has manifest in your attractions across your lifetime. Why does that matter? Because I cannot be a Sara,
Gina, Anti-commie, Rep Anna, etc. I’m a boy – plain and simple…and a boy that’s nearly 60. All I can ever be is me. My only hope and prayer is that you are sure it’s me you want? Our life and times could be so special and wonderful but it could also be a disaster if you’re not truly attracted to me. For us to work, you’d need to love me more than all the beautiful ladies that you can certainly have if you want. Only that kind of sincere, deep love can keep the gorgeous, sexy ladies (and gents) away (or out) of our life and marriage.
I would ask you to think about this (if you haven’t) and search your heart (and your libido)…be sure it’s Poppy that you want to share your life with long before we hit the start button. I can’t help but believe we’re on the same page when I say that WE BOTH want a peaceful, loving home where we are utterly devoted to each other and our sons. We are aging fast and our time is short (at best). If two people are truly in love, there’s no room for anyone else. I sincerely believe that you love me and I trust you with my whole heart…and it should stay that way.
Most women reading this would ask me, “then WHY did you inject yourself into his current marriage?” Good question. For decades, I didn’t. As you know, I displayed nothing but respect for you, her and your marriage for many years. I was never inappropriate in any way. As you know well now, it was in MN (in 12/2009) that I had the epiphany about you and us. It was strong (and powerful) and because of that experience, I begin to look at you in a different light. It’s true, I feel terrible about her feelings even though she’s treated me really bad (at times) over the years but, yes, a part of me feels really bad for her – yet my love for you is so strong that I am drawn to you in a powerful way – thus, here we are today.
Lots of words and chatter but, bottom line, take time (if you haven’t) and be sure it’s Poppy you want to wake up with for the rest of your days. I want to feel loved, honored and respected each and every day and you will enjoy that exact energy and behavior from me. I want you to be 100% sure.
I love you.